KaTzQi

hey peepz…just wanted to say thanks for reading and supporting my blog. u guys are real cool u know! =) love u guys. anyway..my blog is moving….yea. to this add.

http://kat23qi.blogspot.com/

it’s a try-out..so hopefully this goes smooth. today’s post is there! u GOTA read it k =)

    had a great but tiring time today! a bunch of us (Liyan, Lena, Jayson,
Thow, Wenjie, RongHan, YanYan, Jessica, …) were in town holding
bunches of tulips ,annoying lots of the shoppers. haa no, it’s not
valentine’s day today…the tulips were part of the fund-raising for
Children Cancer Foundation.
    Must say it was a lot of effort..not easy ..definetly…for most of
us who remember the days of flag-selling…this is almost the
same..except it’s bit more ex..cos it’s $2 per tulip. The weather wuz
real hot too man!
    Anyhow, we still had a good time. A very good reminder to us, how
fortunate we are..and how we must try to do our part for charity. The
next time someone comes up to you, n hopes that u could help by
donating some money to charity, Please do. You will not only help the
beneficiary, but you will also motivate the person selling flags and
perhaps make his/her day =) !
    I just wanna say thanks to u dearies who helped me out with this "project". I really appreciate it. Thanks so much! =)

    Getting bit on personal encounters..today reminded me about the realli rude ppl around..some ppl will juz pretend u don’t exist when u approach them…despite obviously pespiring ur head off, and trying hard to be polite. Well, if are not interested, at least just sorry, or smtg. Don’t Pretend Im invisible..
then there are some couples…where the guy looked interested to donate…n buy a tulip…I was full of hope…then…..the girl will juz tell me off, n pull the guy away. SHEESH. Get a life!  Firstly, in case she tot I was interested in her guy..pls… I was looking like a mad woman with my hair so messy in an oversized shirt…totally not the state to pick up any guy! Besides,they were always so dressed up looking pretty n all..n anyway their bfs din look that fantastic for goodness sake’s!  Secondly, it was for charity, not like he’s gonna waste money to buy them bouqets of flowers, like on Valentine’s Day where they either whine or brag non-stop over.

    No offence, but these days, ppl really get so uptight that they just can’t relax, feel fortunate n perhaps do some charity when there’s a chance. Or at least have some courtesy to treat ppl with consideration..even when they aint ur loved ones.  Im sure Im guilty of that at times too, that’s why I feel doin this really helps in humbling a person. Remind me of how lucky I am, and how much simple gestures or body language can tell..

    oh yes, im gonna grumble abt me being broke again. Had to forgo the dinner n movie with some of the dearies today…all cos I was left with 1 buck after buying 3 tulips (for myself n mama n papa) n a handphone accessory thing  (also part of the fund-raising) for my bro n his dear..  sigh. I feel bad. these days, been so low on budget I haf to miss out so much. sheesh. so many good movies somemore! okay, I won’t complain anymore, bcos Im sure 90% of u guys reading this ..will be thinking.."Den Get a JOb for gOodness’ sake!" I KNoW. Am hunting already.   Let’s put it this way," Luck’s just not on my side".

getting tired. must be the long day today. have a sweet week ahead to u!

with metta…

ps: thanks grace, at least ive got some supporters for my theory. =)

    u know I was readin about the cat abuse case lately. The more I read about it, the more I feel for the poor cat. and the more I can’t understand how these abusers think. Well, maybe they were’nt in a normal state of mind.. but what the hell did the cat do to him?
    Have u read about how he whacks the cat against the wall? have u read about how he tortures it? I feel so angry about this sometimes. That day while cycling around, I saw a tail.. ONLY the tail, of a cat, Im quite sure. It was just lying on the floor, bit flattened with some blood around. I was so horrified. (I can’t stand such "painful" scene..) I felt an instant pain for the cat. A few metres ahead, I saw a skull, a small one. I suppose it’s the cat’s. Although Im not a fan of cats,my heart aches for it.
    Each time I read about abuse cases, whether it’s human abuse, or animal abuse, or environmental abuse.. I get upset that they exist. As a human being, I believe it’s our responsibility to take care of things that make this world a great place to live in. Animals are beings too, they have feelings as well and they have their parents, their children, and their friends. Maybe u can’t understand why I feel so much for an animal, perhaps I was one of them in my previous life, but if u ever observe an animal behave and live its life, u will know they have feelings just like each one of us. They know how to love. My friends here who have pets esp. dogs, u will understand too.
    In fact, I always believe that animals are probably the only ones who knows pure love. Unconditional love. I have a poster with this quote "Animals are such adorable friends. They ask no questions and pass no judgements."  Don’t u think it’s so true? Animals don’t judge as much as humans do. They love u for who u are. They don’t discriminate. EVen when u treat it badly, it still come to you.
    Animals remind me of how nature should be. How much humans need to learn from them in loving. If u watched "March of the Penguins" , u will know what I mean. They live life so innocently, yet they know love. Parent penguins fight to protect their babies. They walk for months to get food for the babies, and bear tru winters holding their children close to give them warmth. They mourn and cry when their children get eaten by eagles. If u haven watched it, Please do. The movie really shows how noble love can be. IT’s touching. I guarantee u will never look at a penguin the same way again. ….oh just in case u dunno, I love penguins A LOT! =>
    That’s probably one of the main reason I support vegetarianism. It’s a cause I strongly believe in.
I feel if u really think about it, the benefits of it are so many that I can’t even think of any cons in not eating animal flesh. I don’t discrimnate against eating meat, but I just wish more people could enjoy veg. meals once a while. Try it. After I did, my life changed for the better in many ways =) There are soo many great veg places to eat in Singapore, western, chinese, indian, lebanese, japanese etc. If u need any recom, Ill be glad to help! =)
    Just a little incident to share.. there was this day..I saw a guy wearing a shirt that caught my eye. It started of saying "I love aimals" I almost gave an approving nod..when I saw the second line "they taste great!" sheesh. I was totaly offended on behalf of the animals. haa, well, of course it’s not wrong to like the taste of it, but do you really need to tell the whole world that? sheesh. no matter how handsome he might have looked, trust me, I WILLL absolutely not give a second look.
    Anyway , this issue is pretty much a personal thing I admit. U can’t force it. My parents can’t understand too. I believe it just come naturally, much like a religion thing. If it makes u feel good, makes u a better person, Go ahead! DOn’t really need to bother about how others think of u, what others will say. Who will not like a happier and better person?

    Abusers…u know, I really feel for ppl who get abused by their loved ones. Why that happen, no one can really understand. Why u will abuse someone u love, and why will u continue to be abused? Love’s such a complicated thing. I used to hear stories about how wives get beaten up, slapped, verbal abuse etc. This is not only limited to female victims…nowadays…there are males getting abused! sheesh, how absurd can this world get to?  child abuse too. so many helpless victims around.
Yet, only a very small amount of them are willing to be open about it, to get help. SO many others suffer in silence. I hope someday soon, more wil come open with it, help others get tru, create awareness so that abusers get punished for what they do. It’s unfair when these victims suffer in silence, physically and mentally…and carry this secret thruout their life…while the abusers get away scott-free.
Then again, if u believe in karma, like I do..it will turn on them. Someday. Sometime. When it strikes, they will regret. 

woow, too much serious stuff today. These abuse topics cd go on forever. Anywayz, will stop boring u guys, good night!

with metta…

    im officially broke..no job..n no allowance.. freak. wat am I to do? Get a job..that’s what everyone will say. I KNOW. darnnit. but sometimes.. ppl juz dun really want to hear what their parents have been nagging at to do. it’s not that easy. get a job get a job. right. oh well watver. just let me get over it.
    at this moment, Im so mentally drained n out of luck n motivation that Im just purely passive.
I WILL get a job. but pls juz leave the "advising" to the professionals (parents). Sometimes I think there’s no point in talking bout problems at all. Ppl juz tend to find the need to give a solution when maybe all the guy really needs is a listening ear to his frustrations. He knows the answer most of the time. He knows what is right. BUt sometimes all we need is just to let it out, whine a little, and we will get up on our feet again. Issn’t it? How many times we’ve experienced times when we feel down after quarrels, or conflicts. We know inside that an apology or kiss-n-make up kind of stuff will make everything alright. But we just rather find a friend to whine about it, complain, "curse our luck" ..it jsut makes it more like life. Life would be sooooo booring if we do the "Right" thing all the time, see a problem, solve it, n get on with it. sheesh.
    Talkign bt that, there’s this theory that me n some friends came up with. If u talk about a problem or feel sad over smtg…Guys as in MALES tend to be wanting to tell u a solution all the time. They just have this compulsion or belief that they need to solve everyone’s problem. They are so a "Do-er".
Well, but if it’s ur girlfriends u talk to, most of the time, they are empathetic. They LISTEN. They don’t tell u what u shd have done, what u need to do, what u do was wrong or watever. They just give u a hug, and tell u if u need anyone, they will be there. (although I haven really came across such a situation myself…the truth of this "theory" is supported by most friends of mine….)
    So to my male friends reading this…. if u ever meet a situation where a friend (esp. a girl or girlfren), feels sad over watever matter..or has a problem….(Unless she seeks an advice frm u in the first place…), don’t try to solve it..don’t try to tell her that it’s silly to be sad…all u need to do that will REAALLY help, is to give a hug (if possible), lend a listening ear, be EMPATHETIC (NOT SYMPATHETIC!), n tell her it’s okay to be sad. Everything will be fine soon, and whenever she needs a ear or help, u are around. I can tell u, that will be so much appreciated!!
    I guess that’s probably the answer if u guys haf girlfriends who haf PMS… don’t TRY to understand how they feel,….because U will NEEVR ever understand how that feels…..really. neever..  so all u can do, is juz to give them a hug, and try to bear with the temper a little… do sweet stuff, say sweet things, it will juz make things so much better… u’ll be spared more torture too. haa. =)
    ALright, enough of these men-women thingy, Ill neever understand why men n women are so different anyway. I think it’s the brains. Men haf too much of it, but lack of heart. Women haf too much of the heart part, even though our brains are the same size as the men. HAa.

with metta…….

Oh gOdNess…I really miss walking without limping, badly! it’s not getting better, n Im STILL "swaggering" my way ard. getting annoying kids calling me names because I limp! dammit, these kids really need some fixing. sheesh!
yea, did I mention I miss my runs? sigh..weeks without a run. tat’s not life. oh well, at least I can still swim, haa. but den… gotten pretty "tanned"(totally understatement of my colour now..) bcoz of the swims. sheesh. can’t help it when I attract Sun RaYS. => oh..actually coz afternoon haf more hunky guys tanning ard the pool..so I tend to go ard those sunny times. haa. right, tat’s not totaly the reason la. juz part of it. *grinz*

oh yes, went for Angie n Nick’s bd parrTy yest nite at Bf. suPEr duper fun time! =) missed youth session though, coz my stupid heel was hurting like mad in the morning .  anywayz, bt the party, had fun prancing (dancing) ard during the jamming session. heh. the band was great, and Alvin rocked my night with his Buble’s "Home"…n his try at "Sway"..oh I juz loVE bUble. haa.

SwaY’s such a sexy song I tink. somewhere in my fantasy, my guy will sing me this too. =) "SwaY" n "SaVe the LaST dANCE FOR meeee"..Have i TOld u MiChAel Buble rock??
anyhoW, we were dancing ard to the music, n playinG limbo rock n stuff. haa, pretty cOol thing To do at a "hoLy" Place like BF huh.  =) Im surE He will be pretty entertained even when He wasn’t supposed to be. hee. It was really fun…oh but I woke up with a worse pain..coz of the twisting n stuff last nite. damn. haa.

oh yea, my parents caught "Click" yest though. mUm said they enjoyed the show, tat’s GreaT news man. oh, coz my parents aint the watching movies kind. too ex. they’d rather catch GeTai. SerioUSly. Im Honest. anywayz me n my bro managed to persuade them to catch it. If u haven, GO. DON"T MISS IT. AND IT"S WORTH EVERY SINGLE CENT U PAY. loaads more entertaining than those silly motivational books n talks u guys go to. really.

new found love now..cycling..till I get back to running. i juz realise I reallY love the thrill of cycling on the roads. and I think that’s a bad news. haa, coz it’s darn dangerous for godness sake’s. it’s not a prob for good cyclists…but it is..for ppl like me. who juz thrive on the excitement of hitting redlights or greenlights in some cases…cycling diagonally across the road like it’s my grandpa’s road..n many more tat u dun wanna know. haa. I know Im crazy, but oh I juz can’t help it. It makes me high. =) haa. wat a way to put it.

hmm..oh rite, saw one of my pri classmates few days ago. he looked the same! exactly like bout 12 yrs ago.. ! wow. I wonder if I look the same..hmm..I dun think so. cos he looked at me n din really recognise me AT ALL. Maybe ive juz grown too black. maybe it’s a good thing too.
alritey, gota go. somehow think smtg’s wrong at home, feel some hostility somehwere. dunno what happened though. sigh. why can’t peace juz BE.?

with metta…

have u ever had the feeling of feeling all alone in this whole wide world? like you know no one else can understand how u feel.. like nothing matters except hoping somehwere in some place, there will be someone who can just be there for you, listen to you, hug you, and neevr leave you?.. cause I feel that way.. it’s a hidden feeling always inside of me …been there for years..ever since everything happened.. 
always wishing, hoping n dreaming. wishing the emptiness inside of me will be filled up one day. am I wierd? am I crazy? maybe I am..but I really can’t help it. I wish I feel more fulfilled.. I wish I feel more confident.. but I m just a weakling inside of me. it sux u know.. feeling all alone in this world.. and I only know a way that emptiness can be entertained.. a way that I wish I din know.
ppl can say they are there, ppl can say im not alone. but really, the fact is we are all alone , aren’t we?
if u believe in a God, u know u aint alone, cos he put you here for a purpose right, and at the end, if u are good, u will be with him.
but if u dun believe in a God, how will u feel? tell me, cos I need to know.
then again, does it matter if I know, because I won’t be convinced.
sorry, I jsut had to let this out. Im tired of keeping it in me.
u guys out there, love the ones who make u feel good, love the ones who make u feel that u ain’t alone. cos they don’t happen all the time.

with metta ..

dunno wat’s wrong with my heel, but I tink i pulled smtg, or some tendon burst..because my heel is still hurting since few days ago. It’s killing me..hurts like hell when I walk.. so I had to give up running for the moment…haven run for days..and Im aching for a good run. shucks.
dun really wanna see a doc..cos it’s exp $$ . sigh. damn. wat shd I do..obviously everyone tells me to see a doc. sigh..maybe I wil ..when I can’t tahan. but I dunno to see a gP or a sinseh le. it’s bit swollen at the end..and it HURTS! dammit.sigh. I wish someone cd just tell me wat the hell is wrong, and then make the pain disappear. I hate being immobile…

   oh ..i found a new love…cycling.. haa,used to HATE it..all the aches n blisters…but duno what happen..suddenly find it pretty therapeutic . did a few at east coast..n though i ended up with butt aches n stuff, the cycling part was nice…I ride slowly la..den blast some shiok music..n sing my heart out.. think I scared off the ppl around me..oh well, who cares.
    then…cos it’s kinda ex if I keep renting bikes all the time, so decided to borrow my bro’s bike yest to ride abt. (oh btw..funnily my heel doesn’t hurt when I cycle or swim..it juz HURTS when I walk and stand. DAmm.)  so I was pretty much riding abt my neighbourhood ..down to pasir ris. it’s so FUn..and therapeutic la..except some idiots juz stare like girls can’t be riding bikes except along the beach with their boyfriends and their straw hats… SHEESH.
    BUT…damm..the butt aches I get is Darn worse than the ones I get frm rental bikes…. it must be the seatt…urgh.. seriously guys… wat determines a good ride…? a GOOD seat. practically had to double swagger my way after I get off it.. 1 frm my pathetic heel..the other frm my bruised butt. sheesh.  haa. but oh well, still very thankful to my bro for letting me elope with the bike.
maybe I shd get a bike ..good company n I will lOve IT to the biTS! haa. oh ..sigh. better not. am runnig low on $$ . maybe till I get a job. sigh.
    Oh let me share this song with you..had been singing it out loud everytime I ride..almost shouting..think the construction workers thought I was mad. haa, oh well, den again, who cares.
it’s by MR. BIG..  (Oh I soooo wish for my perfect man to sing me this song.. I will just MELT…awww…provided he sings well..=>) … Please..go get this song n listen to it.. U WILL find it familiar n damm nice.!!!

To Be With You — Mr. Big

When it’s through, it’s through
Fate will twist the both of you
So come on baby come on over
Let me be the one to show you

with metta,
Kat

   nice suggestion Jayson..haa, "free as a bird" human being? hmm..now tat’s almost impossible isn’t it..lots n lots of ppl wanna be like tat ..  I guess it really depends what u value in life..freedom or safety.. someppl crave freedom, they rather be an animal in the wild..risking it all. They love the excitement..the thrill… well, others prefer safety…having all the basic needs met. … freedom to them means danger… so I suppose it really depends huh.
    Then again I feel it’s a lot to do with the kind of environment u grow in.. well, for an animal born in the wild..grow up in the wild..then dont expect it to like being kept in a zoo… it will die. really. of depression. it happened before.
for animals like pets tat are used to having someone taking care of it… they can’t survive roaming around..coz they don’t have survival skills… then they will sadly die …when saddistic ppl abuses them..
oh..in case u r wondering wat the hell im talking about..pls refer to end of previous post.. haa.

    anyway.. still feeling damm suay. phone gone..but bad karma haven finished with me.. pulled a tendon in my heel…damm painful now I can hardly walk properly.. taht means i can’t run till im well. Damm. see told u Im suay. (note: I haven even mentioned all the other suay stuff tat happened these few days!)
    talking bout my silly foot. because of the pain, Ive been limping my way around… to avoid stares by some annoying ppl who juz giggle n luff at me.. I tried to hide my limping… n guess wat. I ended up swaggering like some stupid drukard. sheesh. I realised tat when I saw my relflection at some shophouses glassdoor. well actually thought I did looked quite convincing as an ahlian. haa.

    urgh, it’s really hurting..hope it recovers soon. I hate being "disabled" by sily injuries. sigh. my legs r getting weak. While I was limping ard, I realise how we take for granted normal acitvites abled ppl can do… Walking alone is wat many can’t do..think of how we have to depend on walking sticks when we grow old.. or when accidents paralyses us frm walking properly for months.  So u guys..who can Walk properly.. BE THANKFUL!  =)  Just to let you know, Im so darn envious.

    OH yea, I mentioned bt planning smtg for someone right. It went GreaT! haa. It’s actually a "treat" for my parents. A present for their 24th Wedding anniversay..which was way over. Belated one.
    Few days ago, I went to book a plc at "Al Dente" @ esplandae after checking out a few other plcs. THought it had a great ambience n view… yup, so booked it, did the food order in advance n paid for it… Had to tell a white lie to my parents…haa, told them I won some dinner treat for a couple..so made them go for it the next day..  Luckily , they were quite "innocent" tat they din question much. well…3 course dinner..GOOD FOOD okay.. they only realised when the desert came with a "Reveal it all" card … haa. =) 
    According to them, great ambience, great view, great food..yea.. so for u guys with bf, gf or wateevr f, bring them there for a nice meal sometime yea. Im so glad my parents enjoyed it… im looking forward to planning a better surprise when I earn bigger bucks tat is. =>
Always have lots of stupid romantic ideas for dates, but unfortunately, Im not a guy.. so can’t really put those ideas to use much. (Im still very much conservative u know…expects such surprises from guys…not girls creating romantic dates most of the time..) hmm..maybe I shd set up a "dating agency" huh. haa, like a matchmaking agency…n I plan the dates. woohoo..  right…. ..

    hmmz. tomorrow’s another week agaain..I know this is darn cliche but ..how time flieeesss… sheesh, feel like I haven done much lately. such an unproductive life man. alright. guess I better start doing those life-planning stuff.. having those big ideas about wat to do with life..how to earn teh firsst 15 k.  okay. I tink I need help with tat. All i have thought about mostly till now.. is to finish my studies (done!).. work (in process..), marry a perfect man (undone..), have 2 children (long way), and live happily ever after (long long long way to go..). 
Now that’s Life! =)

with metta n lots of metta…

    had our BF youth outing yest, at
East Coast Park. Yup, some of us cycled, most of the guys were playing
soccer. Hope everyone had a good time there!
    The
park was so crowded as usual…well my parents dun like the "packednes
and noise" at East Coast, but I actually love the atmosphere…it
always makes me feel the mood for family and friends’ time. It’s a warm
feeling I get when I see people having fun at the park with friends or
family. =)
    Ah, my
legs and butt are hurting cos of the cycling…tiring man.. haa. oh
yea..what spoilt the day was probably that I had to leave before the
outing ended. I had wanted to have dinner with the bf dearies, but the
darkening sky at East Coast was disturbing and making me uneasy. I
guess it was cos of the past few horrible experiences I had there
after-dark. I don’t really wish to go into details about them..don’t
wish to think about it again….. but it was a lot more unsafe back
then…the park..the underpasses…scary incidents..it realy freaked
the hell out of me.

    That’s
probably why I couldn’t help feeling uncomfortable just now when the
sky darkened… I just know I had to leave.. if not the flashbacks will
drive me nuts. Felt very bad for having to leave my friends early, but
I just couldn’t force myself to stay on. Sorry…
Oh,
it’s a monday tomorrow, guess lotsa ppl will be groaning n grumbling
about a new week at work again… hee…hmm..I suppose I must be pretty
"lucky" in a sense.. but only for a short while la..till I get a new
job. Soon…I hope.

Before
I go…think about this…which is better..being an animal in the
wild…or being an animal kept in a zoo. freedom or safety? ……
which state would u rather be in?

wth metta,
KaT

life is already hell now…still..phone got stolen…dinner was ruined..bus refused to wait for me…super damn suay day.
I will not go into details of how my phone was stolen..but it was so very stolen. urgh. I tried not to curse ..but this bloody IDIOT (idiot is an extreme under-statement of how I wan to name him) just had to steal my NEW phone. I love it..loved it.. My contacts..my photos..all in MY phone.. sux.
So sad now. Sigh. Oh well.. maybe it’s my bad karma ripening.. the IDIOT obviously DO NOT believe in karma… urgh
Anyway.. will u guys reading this…if u are kind enough…to just send me a sms with your name so I can re-save ur numbers.. lost all my contacts in that phone…and my new sim card has 0 contacts now…..please sms me… if u still wan to be in my phonebook that is…my same number… thanks..

May karma bless that IDIOT.

sad..very sad..
Kat